- Inside Voices

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April 14, 2016


My friend Will spends his time snorting different shit
and he laughs as I burn all my bridges for kicks,
he says external connections are more important
than the ones inside his head.
Now he's lingering outside his apartment building,
smoking and coughing and laughing and talking and smiling. Now I'm sitting outside with a girl I spend
too much time thinking about
And she's staring at the ground with a sadness
I know all too well
I tell her, "Cherish what genuine relationships you do have / while you have them."
She won't look me in the eyes
as she says, "Take your own advice,
You're a goddamn hypocrite."
She was bottled up, now she's breaking down,
Sitting on a park bench, trying not to be so loud
I will spray paint this cardboard all the colors that I like, I will spray paint my face until the fumes get me high,
so I cannot think, and I cannot breathe,
and I will not see no one's supporting me
Because I cannot exist in a vacuum,
and not just for the lack of air.
I have got nobody to talk to.
She says, "Don't look at me, I don't fucking care."
But I was bottled up, now I'm breaking down,
For god's sake, I'm in public
I'll try not to be so loud.
And at night, she wages wars inside her head.
She is a beast of burden.
I am a handful of a person.
I compare myself to all my friends and then beg, "Why can't I just love them?"

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