November 12, 2015

Lyrics

Hey
Heh
Alright
Yeah
Aww yeah

My name is Link, y'all,
I'm straight outta Hyrule
Been on the force of good
since 1986 - old school
I'm bringing you a laid back
summertime jam

Hold on a minute Link!

Hey, what's up, old man?

I see that you're embarking
on another epic quest
You're gonna use your ocarina
to rescue the princess
But you'll need a magic weapon
that'll never ever miss
It's dangerous to go alone
Take this

Thanks, Old Man!
That is really very nice,
I can always count on you
for help and friendly advice.
Though I've never seen a sword
of quite that shape or size
Oh god, that's not a sword!
It's your dick in disguise.

Yes, I can't lie
I have painted my shween.
Now grab your destiny
if you know what I mean
Wait a minute, Link
Don't leave the cave
Where do you think you're going?
This is a great chance
to fondle old scrotum
that you're blowing!

That. Was. Weird
But whatever
there is no time to lose.
I've got to warp right now to Zelda
in this chilled out groove.
Wait, this isn't Ganon's lair
I'm in Liberty City
This place looks just like Philadelphia
but even more shitty
I'm at the corner of Dead Cop
and Prostitute Junction
Something in my Ocarina must have
gone and malfunctioned
I gotta fix it quickly
there is justice to do!

Hold on a minute, Link!

Old Man, is that you?

This is a place you can't survive
with just your sword and your wits
It's dangerous to go alone
Take this!

Well that's really kind of-
GAH!
That's your wrinkled dick again!
Look, I know I wear a tunic
but I'm NOT into men!

Don't be that way, bitch
Let me introduce you
To my three best friends
Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew
If you see the princess Zelda
well, you know you're gonna grab her
So why don't you try to come grab
my inflatable Poo Jabber!

OH MY GOD!

I gotta warp outta here
Princess Zelda awaits
I must defeat Ganondorf
before it gets too late
Ok, now I REALLY
don't know where I am...

Hold on a minute, Link!

God DAMMIT, Old Man!

You're in Raccoon City
it's a zombie abyss
It's dangerous to go alone
Take-

NO!
Fuck you!
I'm not giving you a-
I'm not touching your ween!
Stop the chilled out groove!
Jeez!
I come in here
You tell me you've got
a wee wee weapon!
It's not cool!
Not gonna touch it!
I'm not gonna splllll

NO!

So is that a "No" on the handjob or?
Ok: c

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