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April 30, 2016


You had friends,
You had a family.
A degree in TV, you were gonna go far.
You were young. no, not young.
You were keen, upwardly mobile.
And you gave it all up. no.
And I traded it in for a DSLR.
Yeah good, I like that.
Don't worry about it.
So you bid them adieu. no.
So you said your farewells,
and you dyed your hair well.
To get all the girls to like you. no, hm.
To get all the boys to like you. no.
To fit into older parties?
Yes, Hayden, I like that!
Yeah, thanks Hayden!
To fit into older parties.
It's true though.
Mmm, go on.
But all that I've done, is accidentally become another member of the fucking Youtube digerati.
I used to be in all of all the glamour,
I used to think YouTubing was sublime!
But now I'm in the thick of it,
I'm feeling like a prick of it!
Becoming Youtube Was A Waste Of Time!
You thought you'd get some good discussion,
you thought the world would gather round and type out,
'LOL' before your eyes.
But that was then, and now I've seen it!
That any of you idiots can type at all's a surprise!
And thought your hugs are all free,
you should be paying for me,
to make you feel less gross and lonely!
I never want to attend, another gathering my friend!
They're like a weirdo-touching ceremony!
I thought I'd meet some interesting people.
I thought at least the people would be fine!
But you've all flipped your lids, and still that's only the kids!
Becoming Youtube Was A Waste Of Time!
And who would seek, this demographic?
It isn't healthy for the soul, although you're making some doe.
And in five years, maybe a decade; you'll be on BBC3
presenting some shitty show!
I'd rather dangle for this, why did I angle for this?
How could you fangirl for this,
I don't know!
Send presents to those who take care of you,
not someone who'd eat their own hair for views!
Do people like that actually exist?
I don't know, but it's provacitive.
No it's not, it's gross!
Gets the people going!
And so you're done, with entertaining.
This is the last you'll hear of me, and yes my future is bleek.
But don't be sad, you'll soon forget me.
When some other boy with hair starts up a channel next week. -.-
And he'll be cute and outragious,
with a laugh that's contagious,
and a catchphrase that's enduring!
Or maybe one month or two, until you find someone new.
Who has a face that's more alluring!
A stranger baked a cake for me.
I just got told I'm gay.
I'm on a Buzzfeed list of boys who's hair gets in the way.
I can't keep up with all the hate.
Your comments make me ill.
I ship you guys!
I hate your thighs.
I'm first!
You suck.
Who cares about the words their stupid mouths make?
Who cares if in the past they've done a crime?
The thoughts that you choose, won't really impact your views.
Becoming Youtube Was A Waste Of Time!
My life is empty once again,
this crazy YouTube fame ain't all it's meant to be.
What can Ben leaving us mean?
Now, who'll be the Jack to my Dean?
I'm not happy right now.
Gotta change it somehow.
My world is monochrome again!
Who'll fix the sub-box now that Ben has gone?
Who'll help legitimise our platform to the wider world if he goes?
You saw a chance to gain a reputation. (I did!)
I saw an opportunity to shine.
I used to feel number one, but now it's stopped being fun.
Becoming Youtube Was A Waste Of Time!
I guess being a dork is what I do now,
what else have I got left to get me by?
Don't get your life wrong, remember what's in the song!
Becoming Youtube is a total time consuming,
money sucking,
weird, confusing, and frustrating,
hyper fucking interdating,
bitchy, freaky, glitchy,
posted weekly, don't forget misogynistic!
Fuck off Lex!
Waste of time!

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