November 12, 2015


Natalie Portman's tapeworm had a sudden and very unexpected change of heart
He said this indie chick stinks no longer, fly in my wick - I think I need a fresh start

So, he detached himself quietly from the walls of her large intestine
Made his way out through the usual exit

And in the bold light of day he heard himself say
"Hollywood is not quite how I expected"

It smells freedom
Sharp in his nostrils, but undeniable

So, he set himself up comfortably in a small pied-à-terre
On the edge of the Hollywood heartlands

Fashioned himself a sign out of flashlights and twine
Showing a worm called Divine to show the revolution had started

All across the millionaire mansions and condos
There were small moments of horror in celebrity bathrooms

As the tapeworms detached and a plan it was hatched
For the birth of a new and proud nation

A republic of tapeworms
A free republic of tapeworms
A free republic of tapeworms

The very next session of the United Nations
The worms took up their seats and then demanded the floor

There are things that must be said for both the living and the dead
This is about justice, it's a universal cause

Every time you sat in multiplexes munching in the dark
With your teenage sons and daughters holding on to their hearts

Behind the eyes of the starlets, the talent that shone through
All along it was us and you know that that's true

And in the viewing gallery
Winona Ryder
Won the head of the actress delegation

Now kind of overweight and dead behind the eyes
Spoke not a word, not a single word, but just sighed

It was horror; the truth was out
Though the cinema-going public had their private doubts
But when they sought back to their vile estates
The worms took the riches, the Oscars, the hate

And Ben Affleck sat alone in his mansion on a chair made of cash
Cried a single tear for every girl that he'd sodomised
'Cause he knew all along it was worms who'd been tickling his balls
And at the last he knew it was actually true love

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