- The Vagina Song

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November 12, 2015

Lyrics

I want a real vagina there so frickin' bad
I'll buy it Tampax and some maxi pads
(I'll take good care of it I promise)
It will come with a hymen, all new and pristine
But I'll bust that cherry like a slutty queen
(With a big ole dick)
Oh every time I close my thighs
My balls they fall right out the sides (of my panties)
So turn my dick into a slip and slide, I swear
The world better prepare for when I'm a lady there
Yeah I would have the whole shabang done
The surgery is not so fun
Put it on your wishlist to give my gash a little kiss
I'll probably pull a little Britney and flash it
And show the world I paid the coins for the front slit
I want to see if it makes sounds when I go piss
It's called a pussy maybe 'cause it makes sounds like a cat hiss
It'll be a couple months since my ditch was dug
Made a hole from a pole, now all I need is jugs (Oooo)
I'll probably get real tasteful like, just kidding they'll be huge (right)
You won't forget about me stupid
Even when I'm old I'm gonna have a big fupa
Oh every time I close my eyes (whatcha see, whatcha see)
I dream my dick will fall off and die
And then I'll get a clit so supersized, you'll stare
The world better prepare for when I'm a lady there
(Oh oh) when I'm a lady there (oh oh)
I'll be buying the panty sets from Frederick's
Louboutin for the kick
Then I'll ask Victoria what the hell her secret is
Toss a couple fingers up inside for the heck of it
But keep the thumbs out, don't be thinking I'm a fisting chick
Yeah I'll probably let you take a crack at it
Love you long time, apocalypse now attack at it
Ooo I'll take some pictures for my Christmas card
Sit on Santa's lap, get that AARP dick hard
And ain't nobody around me
Would think that I'm a boy, no one trying to clown me
It's just a vaginal scheme,
but give me 5's, give me 10's cause it's my dream
I want a real vagina there so frickin' bad
I'll buy it Tampax and some maxi pads (I'll put sunscreen on it too)
It'll come with a hymen, all new and pristine
But I'll bust that cherry like a slutty queen (nice and whorey)
Oh every time I close my thighs
My balls they fall right out the side
So turn my dick into a slip and slide, I swear
The world better prepare for when I'm a lady there
(Oh oh) when I'm a lady there (oh oh)
Yeah it'll smell like clam chowder there so frickin' bad

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